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10 Tips on How to Text a Girl for the First Time

Posted on by Ben Hartwig in Dating & RelationshipsNovember 02, 2018
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Texting a girl for the first time can be extremely exciting, scary and humbling at the same time. The age of digital dating and communication is making it more difficult as time goes on to determine tone and meaning behind every message you send and receive, so it’s important to get it right the first time. After you’re done patting yourself on the back for finally getting her number, make sure you follow these tips to make the first text a successful one:

Keep It Short and Sweet

If the girl you’re interested in has any kind of life at all, a lengthy text from a new contact will either bore her to death or irritate her. Keep it short and sweet, like a little ‘hello’ and wait for a reply. Don’t assume you’re the only guy she’s given her number to in months, either – identify yourself and let her know which one you are!

Don’t Wait Too Long

The old theory that you should wait X amount of days before calling a girl is out the window. You don’t want to text her minutes after getting her number, but also don’t want to wait a week – or risk her forgetting who you even are. Send a quick text within a few days of meeting her.

Don’t Seem Too Pushy

Don’t immediately ask her a million questions or try to set a date to get together. If you try too hard, you’ll seem desperate and she’ll probably ghost you.

Don’t Make It Sexual

Mind your manners and keep it gentlemanly. You don’t know her well enough to send dirty texts or pictures, so just don’t.

Ask Her a Question

While keeping it short and sweet, ask her a question to prompt a response and appear to be genuinely interested in her. Something simple like, “how is your day going?” or “did you make it home okay?” should suffice.

Tell Her a Story

If she responds to your text and a conversation is started, feel free to tell her a story. Women generally like to communicate with words more than men, so giving her a short snippet about what your dog is doing at the park or how your co-worker thinks it’s okay to clip their nails at their desk will give her some comic relief, too.

Only Text at Acceptable Hours

No woman wants to be woken with a text from someone she hasn’t communicated with yet. Don’t send your first text until it’s normal waking hours, perhaps 8 a.m.-10 p.m.

Don’t Send Repeated Texts

If you don’t get a response from your first text, just assume she either gave you the wrong number, is busy or doesn’t want to really converse with you. Don’t take it personally, and don’t get yourself blocked by seeming like a desperate weirdo who has nothing better to do than text someone a gazillion times.

Find Common Ground

If you just met this girl and don’t know much about her personally yet, find something that you can discuss in common. Perhaps you both have dogs, love to travel or have the same favorite brunch spot in town.

Set a Date

Don’t let the conversation go on too long before you set a time to text back, call her on the phone or meet her for an actual date. This way you both know when to expect to see or talk to the other one again and can look forward to it. If you fail to do this, you may leave her wondering why you didn’t, and she’ll be dating the guy that did instead.

The more you remember to be yourself, just as you would in person, the easier the first text will be to a girl. Women want a man to be eager to get to know them, but not overbearing, either. There’s a fine balance between the two that will help you get past the texting stage and on to the dating phase of courtship, or rather determine that the two of you weren’t meant to be anyway.

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